Wednesday, August 25, 2004

What You Might NOT Should Have Said... But Was Funny Anyway!

Once, when I worked at a restaurant in Nashville, TN, a very snobby lady ask me, "Is your chianti from a good year?". This was a family place, cheap food, and NO chianti is from a good year, it is cheap table wine. Before I could stop myself I said, "No ma'am, but it was one hell of a week!"

The other night a customer ask, "Will it help if we tell you we are in a hurry?" I simply said, "Nope". (Doug, they thought it was funny)

Back in Nashville again, there were three very large, VERY rude women, who sat at my table for 2 1/2 hours and ate the whole time, alot! When they left, they didn't tip me anything, and I gave them good service. So.. at the door, I ask them, "Excuse me, you didn't leave a tip, just wondering, was something wrong?" She said, "Well, the service was a little slow". That pissed me off and I said, "As much as you women ate it would take 3 men to haul it out fast!" (Doug, I would NEVER do that here lol)

Friday, August 20, 2004

Aloha's Modifying Typewriter

Anyone ever type in SPIT IN THE FOOD on Aloha's typewriter?

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Pet Peeves

Okay, since we haven't had any responses to what we've written so far, maybe this will get the ball rolling. If you're reading this, then chances are you've waited tables a day or two in your life. Anyone who has experienced this crazy thing we do to make a dime has developed a pet peeve. You know, that thing that customers do. The thing that grates your nerves and causes you to grit your teeth to keep from making some smart-ass comment to put them in their place.

Here are your instructions!! Look just below this entry. There's a line that says "comments (#)." Click on that and it will open up a window for you to get involved. It will be fun. Common. Try it. You'll like it.

One of my all time biggest pet peeves: When a man or woman walks in and requests a table for a large group. The hostess informs them that it will be just a minute while they pull together some tables. The hostess returns and seats the person at a multiple table 8+ top. I walk out and greet that one person at this very large table covered w/ rolls of silverware and surrounded by empty chairs. The first words out of their mouth: "I'm waiting for some more people."

How is it that I could look that stupid?


Sunday, August 15, 2004

Let's talk about the KIDS!

So I work at a pretty family oriented place. Naturally there are a lot of kids that come to eat our footlong hotdogs, chicken tenders, cheese dip.... you've got the idea. There's always something cute to watch. One of my favorite kid stories is of a little girl... probably 5 years old. As I passed by the Women's restroom the door flew open. She swung around the doorframe and yelled at her brother who had just reached the Men's Room and yelled, "HEY, JOHN!!! THEY'VE GOT BLUE SOAP!!!!" How can it get any better than blue soap? Just a badly needed reminder that it's sometimes good to focus on the simpler things in life.


Time For Some Funny Stuff

Ok, I left the Welcome up for a while, now it is time for some funny stuff.

One night, an old couple came into the restaurant where I work. When I say old, I mean OLD. They must have been in their 90s. From the front door to the table, the old woman was bitching at her poor husband. She never let up. Finally, they got to their table and the old wife says to the husband, "You just stay right here! I'm going to the restroom!". I was standing nearby, and heard all of this. I went up to the husband and ask if he knew what they wanted to drink. His beaten down face looked up at me and he said, "Only God knows, and SHE'S in the restroom!"

A co-work of mine answered the phone the other day at the restaurant where we both work. The caller asked if she could make a reservation for six for lunch at 11:30. My co-worker politely informed the caller that we did not accept reservations. The caller said, "Oh, I don't want to make a reservation, I just want you to set aside a table for six at 11:30"!

One day the boss at our restaurant was REALLY coming down hard on one of my co-workers. After taking it a while, my co-worker turns to the boss and said, "What kind of saddle do you prefer... western or english?" The boss got all flustered and ask what the hell that had to do with anything. To which my co-worker replied, "Well, if you're gonna ride my ass all day, I want you to be comfortable!" They have gotten along great ever since lol.

These are just a few stories to get us started. Have fun with this!

Tuesday, August 10, 2004


Hello fellow Waiters! This Blog is just for you!

This is a place for you to tell stories, make fun of customers, vent, give crazy quotes you hear from customers, and generally have fun. If you want the username and password so you can do your own post, simply let us know at and they will be sent to you. Any Waiter can post.

This is on the honor system, but we do ask a few things. Please do not delete other Waiter's post. With the username and password you will have access to the whole blog, so we trust you will not do this. Second, do not say bad things about your fellow Waiters, and never mention them by name. This is for us to have fun with, it is not an outlet to insult our co-workers. It is also not a place to blast your employer or boss. If you have something good to say about the resturant you work for you can mention it by name. If you have bad things to say, do not mention the name. Remember, your boss may find this site!

Have fun!